15 Ways to Stay Sober Through the Holidays
Staying sober over the holidays while still fulfilling all your various social obligations is… difficult, to say the least.
Don’t believe me? Try looking your long lost pre-school classmate in the eye and tell them, “Hey, bro. I know I haven’t seen you since before I could grow a beard but I’m really, really trying to avoid waking up next to the toilet bowl tomorrow.”
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The holidays are all about indulgence. Food, credit card debt, bad music, worse sweaters and, of course, liquor.
Hey, if you’re a teetotaler, that’s cool too. But, for the rest of us, turning down that third shot offered by your company’s CEO at the office Christmas party can be tricky. But you’re in luck! Here at Healthversed, we’ve put together a little list of a few tips and tricks to help you turn down the party sauce but still have fun.
So put on your comfiest sweater, light the Yule log and pour a glass of (virgin) eggnog. I present to you: 15 ways to stay sober through the holidays.
The “Dixie Cup Full of Juice” Trick
First, let me say that this is an absolute classic move. It’s gotten me through a ton of awkward office dinner parties and saved me a lot of money on Gatorade and Extra Strength Advil Liquid Gels.
The logic goes like this: if you have a drink in your hand, people won’t pressure you to drink. It’s easy to turn down the offer of another drink with a casual “I’ve already got one.” Plus, it’ll save you having to have the “why aren’t you drinking tonight?” conversation 5 times in one night.
This strategy works just as well with an empty cooler can or a dark colored beer bottle.
Be the Designated Driver
Another classic holiday party move is offering to drive your friends to and from the event. Not only will you be an absolute hero, your friends will probably reward you with a bunch of free things too. And if you’re lucky, the restaurant or bar might offer you a free soda or two!
This comes with a warning though. Sometimes, driving your drunk friends home after a long night of drinking can be really, really annoying.
Don’t be afraid to set the ground rules for your ride. It might save you a few hundred dollars’ worth of cleaning supplies and a relationship or two.
I can’t take credit for this one. A few years ago at an office Christmas party, I was sharing a table with my supervisor. We finished eating dinner and the masses migrated to the bar. As the shots began to flow, my aforementioned supervisor leaned close and wisely whispered, “Now is the time to leave.”
And, just like Kaiser Soze, he was gone. He fulfilled his obligation as a manager while avoiding the embarrassment that inevitably accompanies getting sloshed with your co-workers. I wish I had done the same.