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The ‘90s are my missing decade. From the last day of February 1990 until the final 2 (twin) munchkins toddled off to junior kindergarten ten years later, my life was a blur of breastfeeding and diapers. The TV was perpetually tuned to Treehouse or YTV and I couldn’t begin to tell you who won the Stanley Cup, what music was cool or even if World War III had occurred.
Before the babies started to arrive, I couldn’t have imagined such a life. Shopping for new clothes, dancing the night away in my favourite club, sipping some fancy cocktails with the girls – that was my life. I met a great guy, but I didn’t leave the girls behind. In fact, we all hung out together and continued to have a blast. I got married. The girls threw a wedding shower, and well… they pretty much threw the wedding too! I got pregnant right away and, you guessed it, the girls gave me a fab baby shower. They all came over and oohed and aahed over my beautiful baby boy. Then they went back to the club.
Was I sad? Truth be told, I didn’t notice all that much. I was wrapped up in the miracle of my son, and in the everyday care he required, and in trying to find time for my husband and I as a couple.
I’ve always believed that the friends you have during the different stages of your life are the right friends for that time. Some precious gems might be there throughout everything, but they are few. Hold onto them!
My single girl friends mostly remained back in my dance club days, and I’m okay with that. I’m not friendless today, five babies later — far from it. My new friendships were formed while separating battling toddlers in city parks or peeking over a wooden fence while hanging laundry. Hell, I pick up friends everywhere – a frazzled mom at a birthday party, a fellow ball hockey mom and an assortment of ladies who have also survived the preschool years of twins.
You can’t beat having friends that get what you’re going through. It’s very comforting to know your experiences are normal, common and best of all, temporary! These kids will grow out of this weird and frustrating phase, whatever it may be, and you have you have your mom friends to lean on.
“Hey, did your kids ever use the contents of their diapers as an art medium?”
Being there for the trials of potty training is great, but this is just the beginning. Hang onto your Bumbo seat, there’s more! There’s a minefield of ADHD diagnoses, training bras and food allergies to navigate, and you will be forever grateful for the advice and kind words of other moms who have been there before. In time, you become like old army buddies – battled scarred and war weary, but bonded together by shared experiences.
But what’s to stop a bunch of moms from leaving Sponge Bob and sippy cups behind for one evening and hitting the dance floor? Life isn’t over; it’s just different. And who needs a limo when you’ve got a minivan?!