How to Deal When Your Horrible Roommate Is Also Your Spouse

3 minute read

By Emily Reid

Living with another person is a commitment and can turn into a tricky situation if things go south. While you may be able to laugh at horror stories, it’s a different situation when it happens to you. Start a search today to learn about co-living.

Couples that live together can learn all kinds of pesky habits each other have and sometimes that can take a toll on the relationship. Use these helpful tips to learn how to deal when your horrible roommate is also your spouse.

Think About It

Before you move in together, try to think of how your significant other lives on a daily basis. If you go over to their apartment or if you’ve stayed in hotels together on a trip, use those as references for how they might be when you cohabitate. Are they neat and tidy or do you argue about leaving clothes all over the floor? Have you noticed that their bathroom is never clean at home or that the fridge is full of rotting fruit? Taking note of these habits can help you address them early on before you end up in a sticky situation.

Talk About It

Once you’ve figured out some of their quirks or habits that might not mesh with your own, try to discuss these issues openly. If you know your partner leaves dirty laundry in the bathroom, make sure to let them know how you feel about it and offer suggestions such as a laundry hamper in the hallway. Coming up with compromises before you move in will make boundaries clear and easy to follow. Knowing what to expect before you share a space can keep the surprises away and allow for a smoother transition from single living to sharing a pad.

It’s Not Too Late

If you’ve already moved in with your spouse and are struggling to deal with a difficult roommate, there are still some ways you can solve the situation. Compromising is key and making some fair trades will help you be able to deal with their annoying habits.

If they always leave their dishes out, then try creating a schedule of dish days. I you alternate evenings to fill the dishwasher, then you can split the workload. If they leave the bathroom a mess, then you can make a bargain and swap bathroom duties with taking out the trash. Designating and dividing chores between the two of you will let you tackle the areas they are lacking while they take over some tasks that they can handle.

If it’s a noise issue or scheduling complaint, try to make a deal with your significant other. Instead of your partner watching a loud Netflix show while you try to nap, give your partner a pair of headphones so they can binge-watch in peace while you enjoy the silence. If they get up earlier than you and clamor around the kitchen, suggest that they pre-pack their lunch the night before or make coffee at work to limit the noise.


Making adjustments is a natural part of living with another person, so remember to be aware and be fair. You may have a few little quirks to work around with each other but if you compromise and have an open conversation about your living arrangements, you can cohabitate in peace and keep your relationship intact.

Emily Reid