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Getting engaged is a big step in any relationship and can be the most enjoyable time or the most stressful time for the bride-to-be. Planning a wedding takes time and requires many decisions to be made with careful consideration and patience. While your Pinterest wedding board might help you pick a dress and plan your ceremony, there are many other factors at play in the months before the big day – and it’s these tricky little issues that could derail your plans if you’re not careful.
Don’t make these 5 common engagement mistakes:
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Engagements seem to have a domino effect among peers. Once one friend calls with big news, ten more couples follow suit. Whether it’s the season or something in the water, there are usually waves of couples popping the question and that can be overwhelming to couples who aren’t ready yet. Christmas and New Years are common times, and once one ring box shows up on your Facebook feed, you can bet there will be a few more to follow.
At a certain age, it can feel like all of your friends are getting engaged and you’re getting left behind, but don’t rush it. Everyone advances at their own pace and there is no worse reason to rush an engagement than peer pressure. After being bombarded with those photos of diamond rings on Instagram, you might want your guy to get on with it, but remember that every relationship is different. Don’t do it because your best friend, college roommate, and all of your cousins are engaged. Make sure you are ready for that lifelong commitment, and not just looking for some bling to match your girlfriends.
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Peer pressure can come from more than just Facebook. Family members are a common source of influence for engagements, and this can be stressful for many couples. Whether your grandparents are hinting or a not-so-subtle relative is asking awkward questions at a barbeque, outside pressure to get engaged is never good. No matter what Mom and Dad did, or how old your siblings were when they got engaged, these shouldn’t factor into your own plans.
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Following the Rules
Aside from nosy family members, there are other factors that might pressure couples into engagements that they aren’t ready for. Although traditionally babies come after the wedding, that isn’t the case for all couples. Getting engaged because of a child is never a good idea. These are two separate things and should be treated as such.
Some couples can go their whole lives with children, a home, and no wedding whatsoever. Others like to wait until their kids can be present at the wedding. There are no rules or timelines to follow, so just because you might have skipped one step or switched up the schedule, don’t think you have to get engaged just to follow the traditional path.
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Making It About the Bling
An engagement is supposed to lead up to marriage, which is a fact that can be forgotten in all the engagement excitement. A strong marriage is the main goal, not just a flashy rock or a fancy wedding.
Sometimes couples can be swept up in the excitement of an engagement and forget that the relationship and long-term commitment is what really matters. When you get engaged, it shouldn’t be just for the engagement, it should be step towards the rest of your life. Be sure you’re with the right person and not just the right ring.
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Going Too Fast
There is no set time to get from engagement to the altar, so take as much or as little time as you need to plan your big day. Make sure you include your man in the wedding planning and use the weeks, months, or years of your engagement to grow closer and make decisions together. You’re working towards a future together, so compromising and working together is a key factor you can practice during your engagement, no matter how long it lasts.
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Getting engaged can be the most exciting time of your life, and it’s an experience you should enjoy sharing with your partner. Don’t rush into an engagement for any reason, and remember that the commitment to a life full of love is what really matters. Sure, a sparkly diamond is nice, but make sure you’re on the same page with Mr. Right before you say yes to something you shouldn’t have.