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While grand gestures and dramatic declarations of love are effective ways to show your guy you love him, neither is exactly the sort of thing you can pull off every day. You’d be exhausted!
Luckily, there are plenty of little ways to stoke the fires of love every day without buying gifts ‘til you’re broke or spending every waking moment dreaming up new ways to demonstrate your commitment. Here are 7 to get you started:
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Write a Love Note
You don’t need to be Shakespeare to let your significant other know how you feel. A short note lets him know he’s important to you, and it takes no time at all. Add a “thank you!” to the grocery list when he goes out for you, draw a heart on a napkin and tuck it in his lunch, or pop a goodnight note under his pillow when you go out of town. A close friend told me that she left a hastily written “I love you” on a sticky note for her husband to find on his steering wheel; over a year later, he still keeps it in his wallet.
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As the years go by, we often stop reaching toward one another. But touch is a powerful way to communicate your feelings. A squeeze of the hand as you pass in the kitchen, a quick shoulder rub after a long day, or sitting side by side while watching a favorite show are all easy little ways to show you value your spouse and want to be near him.
You’ll reap other benefits as well; studies have shown that touch can elevate serotonin levels in the brain, which contributes to an overall sense of happiness and well-being for both of you.
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Ask Him About Himself
It’s easy to assume after a few years that you know everything about your partner. But over time, we stop talking about the big things, and get bogged down in the everyday. However, we grow and change through adulthood, just like we did as children. Asking your spouse about himself shows you care and renews your connection; it makes your relationship stronger by providing insight into the inner life of your loved one.
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It doesn’t have to be a big surprise; we’re not talking diamonds here. (Though those can be nice!) Put his favorite candy in the cupboard or sneakily schedule a babysitter so you can have dinner at the pub, alone. A surprise doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming; it just needs to be thoughtful. What small thing would your partner be delighted by?
Keeping the element of surprise alive in your relationship helps keep things playful and lets your partner know you’re thinking of him when you’re apart. It all adds up to a stronger relationship.
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Give Him Time for Himself
It’s normal and healthy to have interests outside of one’s home and relationship, yet so many of us don’t make the time for it – or worse yet, don’t think our spouse would approve. But having something you do regularly that’s just for you can be so beneficial to one’s emotional well-being. Encouraging your guy to take time for himself shows you care about his happiness and fulfillment.
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Remember Your Significant Days
While a wedding anniversary is important, (and I don’t have to tell you it’s got to be acknowledged) there are other events in your lives together worth celebrating. What are the days that mark milestones in your own relationship? Maybe it’s the day you had your first date, or the anniversary of a wonderful and unforgettable trip. Whatever your special days are, marking them in some small way shows your partner you remember the best times fondly.
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Tell Your Partner Why You Appreciate Him
What makes your spouse a good person? What drew you to him in the first place? Try to identify a few things that you think are really special, and then tell him. Is he fascinating to debate with? Is he a fun and caring father? Can he make a killer meal on the BBQ?
Don’t assume your partner knows you notice these things. Telling your loved one what you love about them builds goodwill and mutual respect. And who can resist the great feelings that come with a little ego boost?