7 Simple Reasons to Stop Worrying and Embrace Rejection

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Let’s face it. We’ve all dealt with rejection, and you know what? It sucks. Big time. Nobody likes getting their heart ripped out, or hearing their kids say, “I hate you,” or not getting that promotion because you “aren’t the right fit.” Fortunately, the hurting part is manageable. The part that isn’t manageable is when rejection causes a fear to move on and try new things.

No more dating, because you got a divorce.

No more pursuing your novel, because a publisher turned you down.

No more softball, because you were benched at the last five games.

Does that sound like a fun and fulfilling life to you? I’ve dealt with a ton of rejection, from college crushes to turned down jobs. Through all this heart stomping, I’ve learned that it’s actually OK to be rejected.

Here’s why:

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1. You Will Definitely Remember It, and That’s Good

Okay, so we’ve determined it sucks to be rejected, but your memory of it is actually a good thing. As much as we hate to admit it, sometimes it is our fault. No matter how small or big the event is, you will remember it! This will help you avoid making the same mistakes again.

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2. It Will Make You Tougher

By getting rejected and coping with it in a healthy manner, you are making yourself tougher. This will make you more professional and it will allow you to look at experiences more objectively. Nobody looks good if they’re crying when they get fired. (And it’s pretty embarrassing too!) It can be hard to see that clearly when you’re an emotional wreck. Take out your frustration on a punching bag or your pillow instead!

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3. There Is Always a Silver Lining

Did you know that forcing yourself to smile actually reduces your stress level? Find the positive side of your situation. Don’t let what’s happened take a toll on your life, because, you know what? It’s not worth it. For example, you got fired because you don’t work fast enough. Ask yourself this: do you really want to work somewhere where quantity is more important than quality? I wouldn’t.

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4. It Can Open New Doors

Being rejected forces us to examine our lives. It gives a great opportunity to experience something new. So your kid didn’t get accepted to the university they really wanted to go to. Maybe they take a gap year instead, volunteering around the globe and come back with a life changing experience on their backs! You couldn’t be prouder. Suddenly, not getting into that school seems like a lifesaver!

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5. It Will Teach You to Say No

When I was a kid, my mom always told me the same thing: “No is the hardest word.” She was right. It’s hard to say no, because we all know how rejection feels and don’t want to hurt someone else. But it’s a very important thing to learn to do. Being rejected should teach you not to settle for less. I guarantee you won’t be able to do that without saying “No” a few times. Say it nicely, say it sternly, but learn to say it. Plus, someone has to get those kiddies of yours under control!

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6. Rejection Leads to Success

Provided you don’t give up. No great person in the history of the world ever became successful right away. In 2009, a man named Brian Acton applied to work at Facebook. His application was rejected. Instead of giving up, he went on to create WhatsApp. Last year, Facebook bought WhatsApp for over 19 billion dollars. I’m not saying we’ll all be billionaires (wouldn’t that be great?), but if you persevere long enough, something will come out of it. Don’t give up!

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7. Not Everybody’s Opinion Matters

We often judge ourselves based on what others think of us. It’s hard to break away from that kind of thinking, but if you can it will do a world of good. Use rejection as a jumping point. Don’t dwell on what was said and by whom or how much it hurt. Stop worrying about what other people think and start doing what you want. When it comes to you, your opinion is the most important.