15 Marriage Mistakes that Women Make
While some people prefer the single life, anyone who craves partnership can tell you how good it feels to finally find “the one” and feel like the awfulness of dating is behind you. However, by viewing marriage as a milestone that once achieved can subsist on love alone without work or attention, we are setting ourselves up for failure, or rather, divorce.
We hate to get all “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” on you, but psychologists agree that men and women generally have different approaches to relationships and have certain traits that each tends to bring to a partnership. While men are certainly not blameless, here are 15 common marriage mistakes that women sometimes make that can lead to breakups.
Being too accommodating
Modern day feminism is all about choice. If you prefer to take a back seat to him when it comes to household decisions, you do you. If you enjoy being a homemaker and waiting on your man, go for it! However, some women can be too accommodating in their quest to maintain their marriage which can not only affect their sense of self, but allows resentment to fester. If you make it all about him, don’t be surprised when he does too.
Having unrealistic expectations
Much like how pornography affects how men approach sex, romantic comedies have impacted the way women view relationships. Women are told that once they’ve found their soulmate they will remain in a permanent state of newly-wedded bliss, and if they don’t, they should question if he’s really “the one.” Stephen Arterburn, author of The Seven Minute Marriage Solution, advises that this approach is a set-up for disappointment. By accepting that your marriage is a complex “series of seasons” that both partners must work at, your union will become stronger and more rewarding in the long run.
Not making your expectations known
Another aspect of the “soulmate model” that so many people unrealistically aspire to is the idea that true soulmates should be able to know what the other thinks, feels, and wants without having to ask. But in reality, your partner isn’t a mind reader and can’t possibly live up to your expectations if they haven’t been properly communicated. Discuss with your partner what each of you wants from the other and work together to meet those expectations.