20 Qualities That Make People Fall in Love With You
If asked, probably most of us can recall our first crush, which perhaps is associated with a cringe-worthy, pink-faced embarrassing moment or three… (If only that was the last time one of those happened!) And we can also likely agree matters of the heart rarely made sense (ummm, they still don’t), and when we fell for someone, well, it’s like the world stopped and all we could think about was how to get that person to like us back. It became everything. Speeding forward to the present moment, if we’re totally honest with ourselves, it probably is still everything.
Thankfully, research has shown there are certain qualities that are desirable in a mate and if you find yourself in that all-encompassing existence of having feelings for someone, they just might help turn your crush into your newfound bae. So, let’s get started and see if it’s possible to get you from “me” to “we!”
Quality 1: Self-confidence
The idea of needing to love yourself first before being able to love someone else might just make you ragey, but the basic principle is that when we care for ourselves, our relationships are healthier. This could stem from people’s ability to sense when someone lacks self-worth, and for many this can be a deterrent. In fact, if you meet someone who finds this quality really attractive, run…
Good ol’ Dr. Phil has explained more than once that we teach people how to treat us through the behaviors we allow and those we don’t – also known as our personal boundaries. If we don’t think we’re worthy of kindness and respect, oftentimes others will knowingly (or unknowingly) mirror those feelings back through their actions and treat you disrespectfully.
So, thinking you’re the bees knees — without going overboard, of course — will likely make you just as desirable to others as well!
Quality 2: Kindness
It’s common sense that we gravitate towards, and want to stick with, people who treat us well, but a study conducted by the University of Chicago has gone and proven it. When surveyed, respondents who answered, “I’m willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let the one I love achieve his or hers,” were more likely to have a marriage they described as “very happy.”
The researchers came to the conclusion that altruistic acts made others fall more deeply in love and created longer-lasting, more satisfying relationships. Kindness for the win!
Quality 3: Playing hard to get
Oh no; there it is! Playing hard to get is something we ALL say we hate, but at the same time, we can’t deny that an air of mystery can be very alluring.
This phenomenon, known as The Scarcity Principle, is the desire which stems from the idea of not being able to have something. Think about the excitement you feel when you learn about a “flash sale” or when learning an item is “personalized” and you’ll have a better understanding of how it works. And just as much as this works for designer handbags and a new set of golf irons, it works for people as well.
So, making someone work a little for you isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Just don’t go overboard with it.