15 Ways Having Kids Can Ruin Your Relationship
Most relationships – long term ones, that is – go through a natural progression. After a period of dating, the couple may decide to get engaged, and then married over the course of a few years. Once those milestones are out of the way, of course, the discussion often turns to having kids. While bringing a child into the world is an incredible experience that ranks up there with the greatest parts of life, it can also be incredibly damaging to the relationship that two people have built. Once kids are introduced into the equation, things change dramatically – and not always for the better.
So what is it about having kids that can quickly cause trouble in what was previously a successful and happy relationship? Well, one of the difficulties is simply the number of different ways in which having kids can lead to trouble between two adults.
The problem can’t really be pinned down to just one issue – there are many different problems that can arise. Here are 15 ways in which having kids can ruin a relationship:
1. Differences in Parenting Style
We’ll get the big one out of the way right off the top. When two people have a child for the first time, they’re both thrown into a role with which they have no experience: being a parent. You can think in advance of what kind of parent you want to be, but you don’t really know how you will feel or what you will do until you are in the moment. If two people find that they have dramatically different parenting styles – and they aren’t willing to meet in the middle – it can be trouble for a relationship.
2. Change in Priorities
As a couple with no kids, it is easy to do as you please – you can go to movies, go out with friends, go on vacation, etc. There are essentially no limits beyond time and money with regard to what you can do together. That changes when you have a child. The planning of your day to day life revolves around the needs of the child, meaning you might not get to do the same things you used to do early in your relationship.
3. Uneven Workload
If one parent feels that they’re having to do more of the work than the other parent, trouble can ensue within the relationship. Raising kids is a hard job no matter how you look at it, and a healthy relationship will require a relatively even split of duties between parents.
4. No Sleep!
In the first year of having a child, you aren’t going to get very much sleep – that’s just how it goes. While living with a lack of sleep is something that can be done on a temporary basis, it does have a way of shortening everyone’s temper. Where you might have been able to look past your partner’s little quirks when you were getting a healthy eight hours each night, you may be more irritable and ready to argue when feeling exhausted each day.
5. Money Gets Tight
In addition to a lack of sleep, a lack of money is another issue that can strain a relationship. Of course, new parents are often in a position to have to scrape by each month, as expenses like diapers, food, health care and more can all add up quite quickly. Couples who are going to be able to work through the early years of having kids are going to need to be on the same page as far as the almighty dollar is concerned.